My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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