no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
