My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
