chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
