so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
