capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
