Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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