Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
