I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
