Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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