I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize