don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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