he thought i was a dude.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
