Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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