I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
