How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
