so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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