Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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