Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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