she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
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