If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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