Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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