i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
