I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The struggles of a small town man whore
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
