wake up i wanna do it froggy style
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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