I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
