These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
