Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
