I like my sex mixed with concussions.
My hand turned me down
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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