i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
