Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
