They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
