i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
