Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
is that a dick in a sweater?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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