yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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