i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
