I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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