It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
