I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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