ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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