you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
