Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He better not be in your backpack
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
