so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
