just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Randomize
