At least make sure they are 18
Why
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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