found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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