i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
