Heybabeimwearingurpanties
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
