We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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