I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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