Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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