i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
