she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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