I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
