just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
