Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
