singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
