there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Life is so much better after having sex.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
