Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
