Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
