you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
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